Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Four reasons that the world (pictured) is fucking insane and we're all going to die in a terrible hail of cultural entropy and hellfire

1. Justice have remixed Britney. Check her myspace (what? she's not in your 'Top Friends' list?) for a listen.

2. As Carnage has already pointed out, LCD Soundsystem has recorded a 45+min long track for Nike, intended to soundtrack the ultimate jog/distance run. I'm not sure what's more shocking; its corporate origins (according to Pitchfork, this is "not LCD's first foray into corporate sponsorship, having hawked videogame consoles on the Dualplay Playstation tour last fall", though geniuses of DFA proportions should perhaps be indulged), the fact that itunes are charging $9.99 for it, or that jowly James Murphy claims to exercise regularly.

3. As you already know, Soulwax have remixed Robbie Williams. You know, I've got an extreme soft spot for the Dewaele brothers, and Robbie's 'Angels' is extremely close to Soft's palpitating heart (on account of it playing at a school disco when I was twelve as I danced with what I thought then to be the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, my friend Giles' cousin. She was American; I don't think she realized what a little weirdo I was...). I mean, Robbie is arguably better than Soulwax...(no comments please). But do we need a Soulwax remix of Robbie? No. Look at it this way: do we need a Robbie mix of Soulwax? No. So why should it work the other way?

4. Kode9 is writing a book of dubwise philosophy and conspiracy theories; rumours that he also ghostwrote Totally Frank: The Frank Lampard Story are as yet unconfirmed.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

the soulwax remix is actually good. nevertheless, obviously someone should seriously write an article about all those postmodern bridges: lcd-nike, soulwax-robbie, justice-britney. seems like one end of the underground meets its adequate match in some other of the mainstream (that brings a good question: are there still differences? itunes and amazon present no discrimination towards the most esoteric underground and the most boring mainstream).

bytheway, i don't really wanna ruin our thesis but the justice britney remix is kind of old.

5:56 PM  
Blogger alt124 said...

the Robbie remix isn't only good is really fucking good...we i played in a party last week the people went insane!!!

6:29 PM  
Blogger Richard Carnage said...

Remember the Holden remix of Britters? Top drawer stuff, even if you can only hear a trace of the original. Tal's right about the RW mix as well - got some mental badass whirring sounds in there without a trace of the Robster. Dear, oh dear... and people say he's the best thing to come out of my hometown of Stoke.

6:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Soulwax did Robbie and Oizo did Jamelia apparently because they all want a piece of the new Kylie album. So it's a piece of Parlophonic coercion.

6:43 PM  
Blogger Richard Carnage said...

Very interesting in a chin strokey way... Coming soon, the SebastiAn mix of Babyshambles...

6:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you must not have heard the remix of robbie by soulwax before you posted..its really fkn great

7:42 AM  
Blogger Blackest said...

I didn't mean to suggest that the soulwax mix of r.w. ain't great - it clearly is (in that lysergic, totally over-the-top fashion, and the breakdown is amazing), but I WAS making the point that the whole idea is pretty mad, and that such a collision of artists (like the lcd-nike, hotchip-booka, justice-robbie) is even more unnecessary than all the unnecessary music I unnecessarily listen to. If you know what I mean. And, yeah, though the SW/RW tune is a banger, and it's 90% sure to destroy a houseparty, doesn't mean its artistically unassailable. You know, at the right party, 'Let's Get Retarded' will send people wild.

Interesting about the pitching for the Kylie album - that sounds pretty likely.

And yeah, the Justice remix of Britney has been aruond for a while, admittedly I only heard it quite recently. Behind the times, I am...

The Oizo mix of Jamelia is stonking.

The Holden mix of Britters is one of the greatest pieces of techno the world has ever known (which is more than can be said for his versh of Madonna).

And Tal, you're right. I don't have any real angst towards these corporate affiliations (i'm a raging fucking capitalist, as we all are, like it or not), but such fluid relationships deserve a Sherburne essay and not a Soft rant.

To summarize:

The world is totally fucking insane and we're all go to die in a terrible hail of cultural entropy and hellfire.


9:22 AM  
Blogger Blackest said...

anyway, what about the kode9 book? Now THAT's insane.

9:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

About the mainstream and the "non-mainstream" (trying to avoid using the term "underground") colliding>>> So many people (myself included) sit here and listen to lots of free music (I still buy a lot, but many don't). We argue that it's a good thing, that the artists are getting exposure, and I actually beleive this is the case... but then when somebody with some loot (be it nike or anybody else looking for clout) approaches them with an interesting project, everybody pisses on them for taking it on.

And what the hell is wrong with nike? it's like everybody is pissed off at the smart kid in class because he has all the brains and their is slow.

I think this all stems from envy.

1:43 PM  
Blogger Alex Egan said...

well there's a sebastian remix of the rapture coming soon...not quite the same as babyshambles i know but there you go.

and yes the britney remix is very old, shame on you softy!

i like all those remixes you've mentioned in fact, its irrelevent who they're for as long as they're good...

but thank fuck soulwax did a dub version of their remix

1:44 PM  
Blogger Blackest said...

alex - i've only heard the dub - is there a vocal?! I really am behind the times. and yes, that justice oversight is pretty shameful. But at least I haven't edited it out...I've been hating on stuff in this post with minimal justification, so all criticisms are politely accepted.

anonymous - everything i do stems from envy! But yeah, you're absolutely right, abusing people for getting paid is totally disingenuous. Though I did already say in my post that geniuses of DFA's proportions must be indulged. There's a long history of artists using commercial forces to make their most bold artistic statements and this LCD tune, in its own odd way, is another example of that, so fair play. And yes, I own an inordinate amount of Nike gear.

But can I stress something about my original statements, something that I hope doesn't sound like backtracking? I didn't say that any of those tunes/happenings were bad per se, more that they were simply absolutely MAD. Mad being neither positive or negative, just mad. If you disagree on that, well, maybe the lunatics are taking over the asylum...

Seriously though, this is an interesting (if unwieldy and unfocused) debate; I think the central fissure in the whole thing is where one draws a line (if you can at all) between musical event and cultural event. Music, of course, should be judged on its own terms, but is that always, truly possible? How bound up in the commerce is the artistic product? (the answer, of course, is very - as an Jameson acolyte will justly tell ya, 'Art' as we know it is perhaps THE quintessential capitalist product, whatever its intentions) We could start talking about late postmodernity n'all, but i don't think any of us has the patience...

But that's the intriguing thing. We're living at cultural saturation point, particular with regard to music, making it probably the most fertile, interesting, dynamic and productive era ever, but also, you'll surely agree, the most insane. I love border-crossing cultural carcrashes more than the next man, for all my carping. I don't know. Thoughts?

Speaking of which - has anyone got the plastikman remix of 'ebeneezer goode' (yes, it actually does exist, look it up) that they could YSI me? If yes, drop me an e-mail at , and I'll donate £2 to Nike


2:18 PM  
Blogger Puffin Jack said...

I'd rather music remained independent and we all marched under a red flag singing the internationale. But seriously doesn't all this corporate schmoozing rub you up the wrong way, just a bit? I konw everyone has to get paid and all, but I think i'm in the Billy Childish school on this one, fuck the corporate mainstream. Look what happened to house in the 90's, got so far up its own arse with all superclubs and that, it took ages to recover. So tere. What about this Kode9 book, is this serious???

2:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think justice remixing britney (as a motif), is much more of a cultural statement, as kiran said, than a musical statement. i don't think it's the money justice's after - it's the complete chaos they can create that drives them. soulseek, blogs, MTV2, NME, phonica, pitchfork (what's up with pitchfork picking britney's 'toxic' as last year's 3rd best track? not that it isn't, but it still demonstrates something) and all other pop culture symbols converging.

this chaos kind of reminds me of the chaos in youtube, everyone has an opinion and can present it freely, everyone is an artist, the consumer is creating their own content. the free market can create truly amazing musical/cultural events, james murphy is clearly making his own statement about music writing a song by demand for nike - but without regulation and quality control we'll get completely lost in music, lost in the capitalistic chaos.

+1 puffin jack :)

4:14 PM  
Blogger bobdazzla said...

Hippie dude came on the dfa forums last year and brought up the LCD PlayStation thing in a thread, which led to a pretty long discussion about commericalism in rock, with several responses from james. You might find it interesting:

As I recall it eventually escalated from intelligent discourse, to some home address posting, to finally a call for a good ol' James Murphy v. Condescending Hippie throw down (precisely following the course of ANY good internet debate). ANd I believe the juan mclean makes a cameo at the end. it's a lot of fun

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prejudice is bad...musical prejudice is even more pathetic!
Old hands say:If the final result of a remixed cheese is great we should all celebrate.
Comming next: Latoya Jackson remixed by Villalobos
Shakira remixed by Blackstrobe
Gnarls Barkley remixed by Ame
Danny Minogue remixed by Pier Bucci
Bananarama remixed by Shane Berry

I can't fckin' wait to put my hands on the Florian Meindl remix of James Blunt...amazing hot shit,man!
Any other sugestions?

4:24 PM  
Blogger Puffin Jack said...

booka shade remix of barbie girl... er hang on, haven't we had that already!

9:40 AM  
Blogger Benedict x said...

adidas is way better than nike

5:13 PM  
Blogger Richard Carnage said...

You knows it, Mr X. Three stripes all the way. I'm actually on my 2nd pair of the same Adidas trainers at the moment... If it ain't broke... Looking forward to getting messy next Friday?

5:58 PM  

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